Bystander Tips and Advice: Witnessing and Supporting Victims of Harassment.

There are many ways to support a person who is threatened or attacked in public because of their identified gender, perceived ethnicity, religious background or any other personal attribute. There is no standard or perfect reaction as situations can differ depending on a place, time, context and people involved.

However, there are some general suggestions and tips you can follow while witnessing harassment and providing support in the aftermath of the assault.

Contents:

What to do if you witness harassment
Offering support in the aftermath of sexual harassment/ sexual assault
Resources and self-care for supporters of victims

What to do if you witness harassment

The 5 D’s of bystander training are:*

1. DISTRACT

If you don’t feel safe being direct, you can distract or interrupt the harasser. Distraction is an indirect approach to intervention that involves engaging with the person who’s being harassed, not the aggressor, to de-escalate the situation. Distraction means making noise, swearing, talking loudly on your phone, ‘accidentally’ spilling a drink or doing anything that’s designed to create commotion and attention. You can also ask a random question not related to situation i.e. about the time or directions. This can help to take the attention away from the harassment and is going to lead the conversation in a different direction.

2. DELEGATE and Alert

If you don’t feel safe, delegation is another technique you can use. It involves notifying a third party, usually an authority figure, who may be in a better position to respond. In a concert/ festival setting, you can contact a manager, appointed equality manager, bouncer or any member of staff. In a session setting, you can contact the manager of the venue, bouncer, or any member of staff.

If the situation is threatening, you can ask such a person to call the PSNI/ Gardaí or you can contact the relative authorities yourself. However, whenever possible, communication with the victim before contacting the authorities is always important as they may not want to report or may not feel ready to report. In any circumstance, make sure that the victim is safe before doing anything else and then check to see what they’re most comfortable with.

ENGAGE PEERS: Try approaching other people and ask them to help. It is helpful to address other bystanders directly and individually i.e. using words “Excuse me, can you help?”. Individual approaches make people more likely to help as it minimises the diffusion of responsibility.

MAKE YOUR PRESENCE AS A WITNESS KNOWN: If you are too scared to say something, if possible, make eye contact with the person being harassed and ask them if they want support. You can move near the person being harassed or if it’s safe to do so, create distance or a barrier between the person being harassed and the attacker.

3. DOCUMENT the Incident

If you are safe, document the scene. ALWAYS ask the person who was harassed what they want to do with the recording. Taking photos or filming the incident on your phone and giving the footage to the relative authorities can be useful because the targeted person can then use the footage as evidence and confirm their statement with the PSNI or Gardaí. In some cases, filming the attack can even stop a perpetrator. Keep a safe distance and take a video of landmarks and save the date and time.

NEVER post it online or use it without their permission. It could cause a lot of harm. Being harassed or attacked is already a disempowering, traumatising experience. Using an image or footage of a person being victimised without their consent can make the person feel even more powerless. If the documentation goes viral, it can lead to further victimization and an unwanted level of exposure.

4. DELAY

Intervention doesn’t always need to happen while someone is being harassed. It can take place after the incident. Check if the harassed person is okay and if they need anything else. Tell them you’re sorry that happened to them. Try offering: a glass of water, assistance with getting composed, contacting a friend, finding transport home or sitting with them for a while. If you’ve documented the incident, ask them if they want you to send it to them.

If the person was injured as a result of an attack, support them in finding the nearest doctor, SATU (Sexual Assault Treatment Unit) or, if trained, provide First Aid. Do not call the PSNI or Gardaí if the victim didn’t ask for it.

ACT AS A WITNESS: to support the police with their investigation. If the Gardaí or PSNI were called, provide them with a description of the perpetrators’ escape route, face, physique, clothes, sex, age and any other noticeable features. You can exchange contact details with other witnesses. Having a collective report will make for a stronger case against the perpetrator and can help police with their investigation.

5. DIRECT Intervention

Direct intervention means confronting the harasser directly. This intervention technique is the riskiest as there is a possibility of escalation or the perpetrator redirecting their aggression towards you; therefore, it should always be approached with caution. Before you decide to respond directly, assess the situation:

Are you physically safe?
Is the person being harassed physically safe?
Does it seem unlikely that the situation will escalate?
Can you tell if the person being harassed wants someone to speak up?

If you can answer yes to all of these questions, you might choose a direct response.

Ask the perpetrators to stop harassing the person or say, “that’s not ok”, “why are you saying that?”. Use a non-aggressive but strong tone. If one person reacts, others are likely to follow. Once people intervene, the perpetrators understand that their action sparks protest instead of indifference or even silent support.

UNDERSTAND HOW YOUR PRIVILEGE POSITIONS YOU TO SPEAK UP: Your age, race, gender, etc. may make it safer for you to speak up and be vocal about harassment – especially when you are not the target or representative of the target group.

*Image Caption:* DRCC Immediate Aftermath Support Condensed List. Created 16 March 2022 using Canva.

2. Offering support in the aftermath of sexual harassment/ sexual assault

The following information has been compiled from the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre website (section 2 and section 3).

If someone you know, such as a friend or family member, tells you they have been raped or sexually assaulted, they may need immediate medical attention and support.

You can:

Help to get them to a safe place and assure them of your support.
If they are injured, suggest they seek medical attention – call 999 or 112.
Call the Rape Crisis Centre National 24-Hour Freephone Helpline at 1800 778888 for free & confidential support and information on their options.

What you can do to help

If someone is telling you about what has happened to them, it is because they trust you. For that reason, you are very important to them and what you say and do matters a lot. Below are some points that may help:

Offer your support and attention: One of the most important things you can do for a survivor of sexual violence is tell them that you believe them and you are there for them. Another invaluable help is simply to listen and accept what they are saying.
Don’t blame: A person is never responsible for being assaulted.
Be understanding & non-judgmental: Survivors may have problems with everyday things like eating, sleeping and concentrating on work or study. This is because they are traumatised and there are a wide range of different ways this can be expressed. Don’t expect them to be back to their usual selves quickly – try to understand
Let them make their own choices: Sexual violence was forced on them so it is vitally important that you do not take away their decision-making powers or pressure them into any actions or choices. Don’t interrogate them or push them on their actions – it is up to them to say what they need to do. You can find out what options are open to them, but let them decide what they want to do.

The Dublin Rape Crisis Centre have put together some resources that may be useful for you or the person you are supporting.

3. Resources and self-care for supporters of victims

The Rape Crisis Centres provides professional support to supporters of victims of sexual violence: https://www.rapecrisishelp.ie/ .

For vicarious trauma and self-care for supporters, you can call the Rape Crisis Centre National 24-hour Helpline on: 1800 778 888 or drop into a local service for information and support: https://www.rapecrisishelp.ie/find-a-service/ .

Here are some resources available from the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre (DRCC) for supporters of victims:

DRCC resource, Grounding Techniques: A collection of techniques that can help to ground a person when anxious, panicked, feaful or triggered.
DRCC resource, Vicarious Traumatisation: This resource is primarily aimed at people who work with the public & who may need to work with or assist those traumatised by rape or sexual abuse. However, it may also be useful if you are supporting a friend or loved one in the aftermath of sexual violence. It is intended to help you recognise and understand the possible knock-on impact that providing such support may have on you personally, and how to deal with that.
DRCC resource, Window of Tolerance: Every person has an optimum ‘zone’ in which they can function normally and effectively – where they can thrive in their lives. Within this ‘zone’, a person can cope with and respond to the demands of life without a lot of difficulty. How a person manages – whether well or less well – depends on how much stress they are under and how well resourced they are with supports and coping skills. The Window of Tolerance is a way of describing this ‘zone of arousal’ that also explains the impact of trauma. It is a useful ‘map’ to apply in situations of crisis and stress.

REMEMBER:

Everyone can do something. One of the most important things we can do is to let the person who is targeted know, in some way, however big or small, that they are not alone.

*Image Caption:* ‘You are not alone’. Created 16 March 2022 using Canva.

To learn more about bystander training, check out the following sources and workshops available:

Books:

Emma Dabiri, Don't Touch My Hair (Penguin, 2019).
Emma Dabiri, What White People Can Do Next: From Allyship to Coalition (Penguin, 2021)

Workshops/ Modules:

* Information for section 1 regarding the 5 Ds of bystander training has been adapted from the following sources:

Edited/ compiled by Joanne Cusack (FairPlé) and Ciara Lynch (SAOI/ DRCC), and published on 16 March 2022.

FairPlé would like to thank The Rape Crisis Centre for their support in developing this document.